I suppose most people would say it's justified to feel a little afraid to meet your in-laws for the first time, but what if this event occurs nearly 4 years after you've married your spouse? Thanks to my mom, this idea became a reality. I have to admit that I was less than thrilled. I was so sure Pastor's family would see all my faults and every reason I'm not good enough to be his wife. I was so stressed that I lived in denial until the night before our flight and I thought it would be nice if we had something to wear when we got to Peru and packed.
The flight wasn't nearly as stressful as I'd heard and assumed. The boys heard the sound of a plane engine and zonked out most of the time. Duane had a hard time with the landings because his ears would hurt. Out of the six flights, he howled for five of the landings while people from neighboring rows would shoosh him and give Pastor and me dreadful looks as if we were beating him.
Pastor's parents were supposed to be waiting for us at the airport in Iquitos. I was relieved when they weren't there. I hadn't showered in nearly 72 hours and the humidity made my dirty clothes hang low and cling in a very unattractive way. I wanted to be fresh when I met his family and perhaps wearing at least a tid bit of eyeliner. My relief was short-lived. I forgot that Pastor's parents knew which hotel we were to stay in. They were there waiting for us and saw me in my unshowered state. Despite my disheveled appearance, Pastor's mom was quick to embrace me and kiss the kids. Pastor translated what she said when she spoke. (Did I mention I don't speak Spanish?) She was near tears and her voice broke as she explained that she'd been waiting for this day for a long time and she thanked my mom for bringing us all together.
Her emotions made me emotional and I promptly forgot how many hours it had been since I'd showered. A few visits to their home revealed that Pastor's mom was just as nervous to meet me as I was to meet her. On one particular visit, she admitted that she was embarrassed by her home and because they are so "poor." There are so many things I wanted to tell her then, but I couldn't get Pastor to translate more than three sentences at a time. (He was kind of popular) In my mind, I was thinking that money was the only thing they lacked. While in their home, I was amazed by their family unity, by their faith and their ability to express what they were thinking.
One the major things that struck me while in Iquitos was how united the families were. Everyday everyone did what it took to make the family survive. I'm sure there were the exceptions to this that I simply didn't see or meet, but it's amazing to me how confusing having a little extra money can really become if you let it. A lot of families had next to nothing and could smile and laugh and enjoy their families. Here in the states, I think sometimes people get confused by trying to get the latest high tech phone, or the coolest tv. It's nice to have nice things, but I remembered what the truly important things are when I saw how happy Pastor's family is without all the nice things.
I never thought I could learn to love anyone in such a short amount of time. Pastor's dad seemed to have a special bond with Duane. He would hold him for extended periods of time, sometimes in the midday heat. Daune would wrap his arms around papapayo's neck and hug his head. :) Pastor's mom spent hours teaching me to cook so I could "take care of her son," and his sisters were loving and accepted me readily. The boys were a bit more stubborn. Duane bit his cousin Alvin. :s They actually behaved pretty badly sometimes. They were travel worn and exhausted and not in the mood to make friends with strangers, but by the end of the trip, they were giving kisses as readily as a Peruvian child. (Kissing cheeks is a well practiced form of greeting)
I have to say that I fell in love with Peru almost equally as much as Pastor's family. The land is beautiful, as are the people. My mom let us tag along one day when she went to a school where she was donating some wood to build new desks for the children there. The kids were so energetic and excited to see her and their round, dark eyes could melt anyone's heart. :)
I was sad that we didn't get to go out on the river. The babies are just too young and there are too many mosquitoes. I so wanted to see a pink dolphin and I had my heart set on going to monkey island. In hindsight, it's probably a good thing we didn't do those things as it would have taken from family time.
There are a few bad habits I've acquired:
1) I now feel it's acceptable to eat off anyone's plate and have caught myself doing so a few times. Luckily I haven't done this to a stranger. haha
2) I relied on the motortaxis to lull my babies to sleep when they were restless. There aren't any motortaxis in Utah.
3) Shopping everyday. :D
I gained some good habits as well. Seeing Pastor in his hometown with his family was awe inspiring. I was amazed by his conduct and his ability to barter. Most street vendors, or any vendor for that matter, saw a white girl and assumed they could get ten times the worth of the item out of me, but Pastor would have none of it. He even threatened a man's livelihood when he tried to pull a fast one on my mom. (A guy who works for the Hope Alliance, the same foundation Pastor worked for before he came to the States and the same organization my mom was working with) You really have to be on your toes in Iquitos, especially if you're white. You stand out as an easy target.
Saying goodbye was painfully hard. I've never seen Pastor in such distress. :( He was reminded of his purpose of coming here to the States, which was to help his family. He is more dedicated to finishing school and I'm more dedicated to learning Espanol. I don't know when we'll be able to go back, finances won't allow for it for some time, but I'm already missing them terribly and counting the days.
